Are You an Enabler?
Answer these questions “yes” or “no”:
1. Have you ever ‘called in sick’ for an addict because he/she was too hung over to go to work or school?
2. Have you finished a job or project that he/she failed to complete?
3. Have you ever lied to anyone to cover up for him/her?
4. Have you bailed him/her out of jail or paid legal fees?
5. Do you avoid talking about his/her use out of fear of the response?
6. Have you paid bills that he/she was supposed to pay?
7. Have you threatened to leave if he or she didn’t stop using and then did not leave?
RESULTS:
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you may have enabled a loved one to avoid the consequences of his/her actions, and possibly furthering the progression of the disease of addiction.
Enabling creates an environment in which the addict can comfortably continue to engage in negative and risky behavior without consequence.
Enabling is a behavior that a loved one has learned to do for emotional survival. To decipher, “helping” is doing something for someone that he or she is incapable of doing; “enabling” is doing things that he or she could, and should be doing.
For more on enabling, addiction and recovery, download our free eBook, “Understanding Addiction and Its Treatment Options.”
[hr]What is Co-Dependency?
Answer yes or no to the following:
1. I feel responsible for almost everybody and everything, and often feel guilty.
2. I often relive situations and conversations to see if I can think of some way I could have done or spoken better.
3. I avoid confrontation with angry people or those who disagree with me.
4. I tend to see all situations as “all good” or “all bad”.
5. I tend to trust people too much or not at all.
6. I tend to believe the addicted person’s promises, even though they have broken them before in the past.
7. I shift between having a lot of energy to help people to feeling drained, depressed and ambivalent.
RESULTS:
If you answered ‘yes’ to four or more of the questions, then you may be at risk or suffering from codependency.
Codependency is when a loved one’s feelings are dependent on or determined by the way the addict feels. Loved ones will use maladaptive strategies in their efforts to cope with the wide range of life stressors that accompanies addiction.
Essentially, codependency is addiction to another individual; it is the compulsive need to attempt to control that part of their life that is out-of-control.
For more on co-dependency, addiction and recovery, download our free eBook, “Understanding Addiction and Its Treatment Options.”
[hr]
Are You Suffering From Addictions?
Answer yes or no to the following:
1. Do you or a loved one feel the need to drink or use drugs before certain situations?
2. Have friends or family ever told you or a loved one that they were concerned about the drug or alcohol use?
3. Do you or your loved one prefer to drink or use drugs alone?
4. Do friends and family ever threaten to leave due to alcohol or drug use?
5. Do you or a loved one drink or use drugs to build self-confidence?
6. Do you or a loved one think that drugs or alcohol helps one deal with loneliness, rejection or loss?
7. Do you or a loved one ever engage is risky behavior, such as unsafe sex, while under the influences of drugs or alcohol?
RESULTS:
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you or a loved one may be suffering from the disease of addiction.
Addiction is not the actual use of drugs or alcohol, or even the occasional abuse of them.
Addiction, due to chemical imbalances in the brain, is the uncontrollable, obsessive desire
to use the substances regardless of the negative consequences like losing your job or family.
For more on addiction and recovery, download our free eBook, “Understanding Addiction and Its Treatment Options.”
[hr]What is Denial?
Answer yes or no to the following:
1. Do you ever make excuses for a loved one’s consumption of addictive substance or behavior?
2. Have you accepted part of the blame for his/her consumption or behavior?
3. Have you ‘loaned’ him/her money?
4. Have you given him or her any kind of financial support?
5. Have you tried using as well in hopes of strengthening the relationship?
6. Have you given him/her ‘one more chance’ repeatedly?
7. Have you ever thought that the addictive behavior was the result of currents ‘stress” and would stop when the ‘stress” was less?
RESULTS:
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you may be in denial about a loved one’s addictions, and possibly furthering the progression of the disease of addiction.
Denial is a common defense mechanism that is often necessary for survival. It is an automatic response to avoid something uncomfortable. Denial stems from a fear of looking bad or having to give up a dependency we do not feel we can live without. We all live with a certain amount of denial that keeps our lives in balance. However, the denial that often accompanies addiction is taken to an extreme degree and becomes unhealthy when it acts as an obstacle to recovery.
For more on denial, addiction and recovery, download our free eBook, “Understanding Addiction and Its Treatment Options.”
