To understand what enabling is, it’s important to distinguish it from helping. Helping is when you do something for someone that they are unable to do for themselves. Whereas, enabling is doing something for someone that they are not only capable of doing, but should be doing. Enabling is often a behavior that a loved one has learned to do for emotional survival.
The problem that enabling creates for someone who struggles with drug or alcohol abuse, is that it creates an environment in which unacceptable behavior can be continued. Often times, the “help” that family and friends think they are offering to an addict, is actually making it easier for the disease of addiction to progress. An addict can continue to use, knowing that somebody will be there to rescue him or her from mistakes. This also makes denial easier for an addict, because his or her problems are being fixed by those around. It is when an addict is forced to face the consequences of his or her actions that the realization of a problem is possible. Enabling is a learned behavior and can be replaced with a healthier response to a loved one’s illness. (Psychology Today)
