Rachel

Rachel
“I’m 25 years old and I’ve been using opiates, cocaine, and been prescribed narcotics for about 10 years.  I’ve been to, I don’t know, 20 or so different rehabs.  I’ve been through 10, 15 different detoxes and so far, no good.  So far nothing has worked.  It was a little rough at the beginning, nothing like sitting at home wrapped up in a blanket doing it on your own or in a hospital for that matter.  This has been extremelycomfortable.  I love the people here.  I feel amazing.  I feel so good.  Just to step outside and feel the sun on my face or just to see it shine is an amazing thing to me.  It’s a blessing to be able to smile without needing to use a drug, to be able to hug my kid and feel good, to be able to laugh, to be able to enjoy my family, to be able to enjoy life and that’s something that I haven’t felt since I can remember, forever.  I grew up on drugs and this is all new for me and it’s wonderful.  I think as far as cravings go, I haven’t had any at all, I haven’t had, none.  I can remember in every other rehab, every other detox, the urge and the desire to use took over any ability to want to think about life in different terms, to want to start things over, to change my life, to make things different.  I didn’t find myself thinking any of those things which I definitely feel like I’m in a position to do now.  I want to change my life.  I don’t think about drugs.  I don’t want to use.  It’s new and it’s wonderful and it’s different. Heroin is rough because, just simply the physical part of it.  I recall just wanting to seek it out, to feel like I could get up the next day, to feel like I wanted to be able to live.  And even in the minor physical part of this, it didn’t cross my mind, I mean, not even once.  Cocaine took over my brain; as soon as the thought was in my head, it wasn’t going to leave until I got high, it wasn’t going to change.  And I couldn’t keep from having those thoughts; there was nothing I could do.  I haven’t experienced the tiniest, slightest idea of even wanting to go and get high.  It truly is an amazing thing.  It’s awesome not to think about it.  It’s awesome not to have to.  To be able to think about other things, and what I want to do with myself, and wanting to have a life and be happy and God, all those things and not having to have drugs in that equation is an awesome thing.”