Some people think they are helping a loved one through a crisis, when they are actually financially enabling addiction. It’s sometimes difficult to tell. Watching a loved one struggle with addiction can be a very confusing time. The lines are not always clear. But addiction doesn’t just take an emotional toll on relationships, it can also take a financial one. Here are some tips on how to avoid financially enabling addiction and to be a part of the solution.
Friends and family want to support their struggling loved one, but most don’t want to enable the problem. Ask yourself these these questions (PsychCentral.com) to see if you might be financially enabling addiction:
- Have you ever given in to the addict’s plea for money or favors just to keep the peace or not rock the boat?
- Have you ever assumed that the drug or alcohol problem is just a phase that your loved one will grow out of or it will get better on its own?
- Do you find yourself taking on your loved one’s responsibilities or picking up their slack on a regular basis (such as paying bills or job/family responsibilities)?
- Do you keep finding yourself rescuing your loved one from difficult situations or getting them out of binds?
- Are you passed just giving second chances and are now giving fourth or fifth chances?
- Have you found yourself engaging in destructive behavior with your loved one even though you know they might have a problem?
Enabling is shielding or protecting a loved one from having to feel the consequences of their actions. As a result, this can prolong the addiction. If you want to support a loved one, let them experience the consequences of their actions while encouraging them to seek help.
Some other tips to avoid financially enabling addiction:
- If your loved one has been draining you financially, seek financial guidance for yourself to get your own finances back in order.
- Practice tough love: no money, no car, no phone. Sometimes family and friends have to cut off a loved one financially while still offering emotional support and help (financial and emotional) with treatment.
- If that approach isn’t for you, consider another route that would give you more control over how a loved one is able to use your money. Some prepaid debit cards allow for more control and monitoring.
Regardless of which approach to stop financially enabling addiction works best for you, it’s important to set and enforce boundaries with persistence and consistency, while you try get your loved one into treatment.
